Suck Dick, Smoke Weed

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In the process of understanding femininity, I came to the conclusion that the best way to awaken your inner feminine is by practicing self love and pleasure.

Femininity is intended to be cherished. We are the generators of love. When a woman feels loved, she creates love all around her. And for her to feel loved she must be relaxed, happy and in tune with her cycles. She must have the space to express every emotion, every desire.

The more you enjoy all the pleasures in life, the more you generate love. And our nature as women, is to see all the beauty in everything, to love everything, to receive pleasure, to create beautiful things, to nurture and inspire others.
When you connect with yourself, you feel happy. You are aligned, with the universe, with nature, with every color, every chakra. And when you awaken your sexual chakra, you awaken your creativity. Where all of creation comes from.

And if you picture your aligned chakras, it is just like a rainbow. And the rainbow is the combination of colors that are created by the dispersion of light. And where does the rainbow always leads to? Gold. Pleasure. Love.

For so long, us women, stop believing in ourselves. They made us think that the feminine was not important. Someone told us that shining was not something we could do, and since we were little we have been apologising for being us.

“Stop being so sensible.” “Why are you so passionate?” “She is such a slut.” “She must have her period.” “Women talk to much.” “Savage? Women? Never.” “Intelligence means no good looks.” “Femininity means inferiority.” And so fucking on…

It is time, that we embrace our feminine. That we find that inner light in us. That magic rainbow that connects us to everything. Because that is what the world needs right now.

More magic, more pleasure, more creativity, more innocence, more sweetness, and more emotions.

Literally, suck dick and smoke weed. Meaning, do whatever gives you pleasure. Because the better you feel, the better others will feel too.

Either you are single, married with a man, a woman, etc. There is always a feminine and masculine role. And you have to understand that every role has its purpose, and you have to play yours well. And remember that the feminine inspires the masculine to create. There is always a perfect balance. Just like the Yin and Yang. 

So enjoy. Enjoy everything. Embrace your femininity. Dedicate time to yourself. Kiss Yourself. Indulge your senses. Cook with herbs. Do rituals. Receive massages and happy endings. Listen to music. Go out and dance. And always be grateful for everything that you have.

– Ina Gold

I want to share this essay with you guys that explains exactly what I am trying to say:

“Playing The Poles In Marriage And Motherhood”

by:  Lula Chapman.

“I remember when a self-proclaimed, self-made millionaire came into town with her long, black curls trailing behind her. Busty and bleached teeth and brazen. I met her at a raw food dude’s potluck…nothing says purist like raw foodist. And there, before the crowd, she was declaring her love for two things: DMT and dick sucking. My jaw dropped and soon after I thought, “I think I may have something to learn from this chick.” She had a son of maybe 9 years old who was so adorable and reminded me of a young Wynona Ryder. My son was 5 months old and I was just getting around to being social again.

I thought I was going to learn about money from this woman who had the self-appointed name of a black bird. I mustered up some courage and after knowing her for a week, I asked her straight up, could she teach me about making money.

Then she asked, “Don’t you have a husband?”

“Yes.”

“Honey, he should be making the money and you should be sucking his dick. The only reason that I am involved in the masculine world of making money is because I am a single mom and I have to be.”

Again, I was shocked.

Disclosure: I love to be shocked.

She talked with me about femininity in a way that I found counter intuitive to my feminist anarcho queer training. That discomfort was coupled with a keen curiosity.

She told me that the feminine, by design, is intended to be cherished. That she is the generator of love. That her affection inspires the masculine to succeed in his vision…And for her to be in this feminine space of love, she must be relaxed and her in flow. She must have the space to express her full emotional body and follow her heartfelt whimsy. Look at the vagina for instance, when she is wet and relaxed, she is the most capable of receiving and transforming.

The masculine needs respect. He needs to be listened to… He is the maker of plans, the calculator, the driver of ships, the visionary, the provider, the charioteer. The penis fills with blood and gets hard…we hope. It goes in and gets what it wants. It also goes in and gives massive pleasure.

The feminine can either get on the masculine train or get on her own, but to be together, they have to be going in the same direction. And for the masculine to stand in his power, he has got to be the one leading.

I could feel myself buck.

It was so black and white… at first. And actually in a way, always will be. Think of the crisp lines of the yin and yang. The black is black and the white is white. If the lines are undefined, it becomes muddled and grey.

And that is actually what has happened. She explained.

A few generations ago, the masculine was definitely in the lead. But his position of power was based on fear and control. There was an air of repression in the 50’s that the children of the 60’s rebelled against. Henceforth, the sexual revolution. David Deida, an author who my black haired vixen mentor recommended, describes the time of the sensitive pony tail guy strumming his acoustic guitar. And the shoulder padded super mom who worked just like her man. Nobody wanting to reproduce the violence of constrictive gender roles of yesterday.

What happened was the masculine and the feminine sort of met each other in the middle.

The ladies became more manly, with all the stress and responsibility of money making. They also refused the vulnerable position of having the man take care of them because there is such a long history of mistreatment.

The men became weak, whiny and incapable of leading their families. Becoming soft out of fear of being an asshole.

Not to mention how unsexy it all became.

Married people became more like room mates than lovers with out the pull of polarity.

So, this next evolution is about playing the poles with conscious consent rather than control.

We are all whole unto ourselves. Each one of us encompasses the masculine and the feminine and it has been shown that we can all take care of ourselves just fine.

To clarify, the masculine is not always the man and the feminine is not always a female. The more there is an opposition, where one partner is distinctly masculine and the other feminine, the more there is a sort of magnetic attraction keeping each other in orbit. It really doesn’t matter who is playing what part, as long as they are doing it consciously and with consent.

So even though I spent my 20’s deconstructing gender within myself and my relationships…I decided that it was the right time in my life for me to give the whole femininity thing a go. It fit my life. I had just gotten married, had a baby and was living a sort of unplugged life in the bottom of Ecuador. My husband had the distinct mission of growing mushrooms, edible ones, thank you. And it was turning out to be quite the mission. I knew I wanted to stay home with my babe.

My husband was stoked to step into his masculinity more wholeheartedly. That meant that he had to take himself seriously. That he deserved respect and that he cherished his wife.

First off, I had to check if I really did respect my husband.

Turns out, I was wondering about making money because a part of me didn’t believe that my husband could really pull off taking care of our new family. When I realized this sneaky little doubt lying silently under the bedsheets of my marriage, I pulled the little bastard out for inspection. I decided to put my belief toward the competency of my husband, and like magic, the more I believed in him to provide for us, the more empowered he felt to do so. That was cool. I also had to learn to listen to my man with out interrupting him. And to give him advice when he asked for it. Not before. He really appreciates my efforts.

Next, I had to relax around my decision to stay home. I had to take responsibility for keeping myself happy and at ease because it was my job as a woman. I set the tone of love in the home. Not me alone, but I see it as my duty. The more I am able to surrender into the role of a mother and wife, the happier my family is. When I surrender to the feminine flow, it feels great. It’s like lying back on the pillow and letting life do the all the mounting. There are times where I cannot seem to remember how to surrender and these times are difficult. It’s about clinging to ideas of my identity or things that I want to accomplish, even like doing the dishes by a certain time. There is always at least one moment in the day where I am fighting with what actually is and how I want it to be.

I remember asking my mom what she wanted to be when she was younger. She said she always wanted to be a mother. I thought that was lame. Really? Just a mom? What about a dancer or an artist or a lawyer? Now I see how that was me as a child reflecting a society that devalues femininity. As a kid of 80’s, I was taught that I should go to college, get a job and do something with my life. Well now that I have a little guy and a big guy that I sleep with every night, I imagine having a job and just the thought of it exhausts me. To be truly feminine, to be the keeper of space and the giver of love seemed like something you do after you get home from work. Or femininity was something you bought from the makeup counter. As I investigated my experience of femininity, I began to see how I had been indoctrinated with the idea that femininity was actually worthless unless it could be marketed by a masculine entity. Real femininity cannot be bought or sold, but can only radiate from the heart and the pussy.

So here I am, a house wife, a mother, a woman. I am grateful that my husband is in the lead, but to be honest, without my love and support, our family would be effed. My love fuels his vision. His vision floats our family. Our family is in synergy. There is no side that is better in the yin and yang…they compliment each other…they are each other.”

 

 

Stay gold,

ina-gold-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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